BAD ROOM RISIN'*
by Rikkety
Rikkety writes:
For the record, this song dates back at least 5 years. A few roomies have actually heard a version of it performed, however... slacker that I am, the words were never written down or otherwise recorded, so lines have been tweaked here and there and you may find a name or circumstance mentioned herein that dates after the demise of TC , but screw the scrutinous.
Bad Room Risin'
SITTIN IN MY ORANGE CHAIR
IN MY HOLEY UNDERWEAR
MY KEYBOARD BETWEEN MY LEGS
MY FINGERS ARE ALL GREASY
FROM THE POPCORN I BEEN EATIN
AND MY EYES ARE ALL BLOODSHOT AND RED
I WORKED NINE LONG HOURS AT THE FACTORY TODAY
I'M DOIN EIGHT MORE IN CHAT
NOW THAT'S A PITY
I GOT NO WOMAN
I GOT NO DOUGH
AT LEAST I GOT SOME FRIENDS
AT TALK CITY
BUT WAIT... THERE'S MORE
(SPOKEN)
Hello Friends!
This is your old pal rikkety down in Mena, Arkansas where real men chew tobacco
and wear dirty overalls. This song is dedicated to all my good friends at
!game-guess-classic-rock-by-lyric @
www.talkcity.com
Disclaimer:
The remainder of this song
may or may not be completely fictional. Any resemblance of the characters to
anyone living or dead may or may not be completely intentional. For an 8X10
color glossy photograph with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
explaining every minute (that's my-noot) detail of how my head was severed and
mounted on a fencepost after singing this song, send $20 to:
Pavlovsdog's Legal Defense
Fund
PO Box OU812
Mena AR 71953
(SPOKEN IN DRAMATIC VOICE)
THE OTHER NIGHT AS I WAS SITTING IN MY ORANGE CHAIR
I DON'T RECALL WHICH BRIEFS I WORE
BUT MY KEYBOARD WAS THERE
MY EYES WERE GETTING VERY HEAVY
STARIN AT THE SCREEN
WHEN ALL AT ONCE I FELL ASLEEP
AND HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM
(AHEM... MUSIC STARTS)
I WAS DRIVIN A JEEP
AND DOIN SHOTS WITH JD
WHEN I SAW BAMBI RUN BEHIND AN EVERGREEN 3
STONEY BUDZ WERE GETTIN MELLOW
KID WAS PUKIN UP GREEN JELLO
AND A LITTLE BIRD WAS CALLIN WEBTV
I SAW OUR HERO DROOPY
PICKIN UP ALUMINUM CANS
GEORGIE, ODDY, MOON AND HOTTIE
THEY WAS GETTIN A TAN
I SAW THUNDER CHASIN HARLEY
SLUGGO SERVIN LIQUID BARLEY
AND THE ZILLA FAM WAS TEARIN UP JAPAN
I WORKED NINE LONG HOURS AT THE FACTORY TODAY
BURY_MANILOW IS PSYCHIC DEATH BY MIDI
BUTTERFLIES SCREAMIN
GEEZERS RUNNIN NEKKID
MAN THEY GOT SOME FREAKS AT
AT TALK CITY
2nd Verse
I MAILED MY FAVORITE TEECH A LETTER AND A POSTAL EMPLOYEE
PICKED UP AN AK-47 AND HE POINTED IT AT ME
HE SAID YOUR EX-WIFE BERK'S IN FRISCO
SHE RAN OFF WITH SISTER DISCO
AND I'M BEYOND FEDUP WITH GARYALEE
I HEARD A KINGO DING!
AND ROOKIE SAID
IT'S LIZZY TIME AGAIN
PUP AND PAV CAME THRU THE DOOR
WITH SWLABR DRIPPIN DOWN THEIR CHIN
THEN A BLACK DOG IN A MIRROR
HAMMERED POSTAL IN THE REAR
I'M STILLNOTDEADYET
NEXT I'M SICKIN HIM ON TENZ
I WORKED NINE LONG HOURS FOR MY CHIKPEAS TODAY
MY BUTT IS ITCHIN AND MY ?S ARE SSUPER GRITTY
IF I'M LATE AGAIN
I'M GONNA LOSE MY JOB
AND I'LL BE SLEEPIN ON THE STREETS OF TALK CITY
3rd Verse
I HOPPED ABOARD THE MAGIC BUS
WITH BABYGIRL AND POAD
TRUBB WAS CRANKIN BRON-Y-AUR
AS WE WERE DARTIN DOWN THE ROAD
BY VIVEE'S ROADSIDE SALSA STAND
WE SAW THE WOES AND BURLEYMAN
AND STAR AND GYPSY, LEEG AND SCOON WERE IN A MARIACHI BAND
ROWSY SPAZZED OUT FOR MY FLOWERS
SHAR & K8YDID MY JEWELS
DEATHVAMP STOLE MY BLEEDIN HEART
AND ALL 3 AMY'S SAID THAT'S COOL
NOW ANY LOONIES I LEFT OUT
WILL BE IN TOUCH WITH ME NO DOUBT
YOU'LL FIND ME DOIN LUNCH
WITH CHERRY, COLT AND G
OUT BY THE POOL
I WORKED NINE LONG HOURS AT THE FACTORY TODAY
NOW I'M ASLEEP CAUSE SEGER SANG SOME CONWAY TWITTY
I MAY HAVE NO FUTURE
I MAY HAVE NO CLASS
BUT AT LEAST I'VE GOT SOME FRIENDS
AT TALK CITY
*written by Richie Owens. Used with permission.